I don’t love the trampoline too much mummy.

  

Tom (3) loves toast, his trampoline, Toy Story and Frozen, probably in that order.

Sometimes he says he loves mummy, daddy and James but a screaming meltdown usually follows as these emotions have been too much for him.

When I casually asked him if we was having fun on his trampoline yesterday he paused and said “I don’t love the trampoline too much mummy, not like I love you”. He then carried on bouncing with a smile on his face. I stood there trying to smile and trying not to cry, this was a big deal, he seemed to get loving us and loving things were different, he had clearly been giving it some thought.

That afternoon there was no screaming meltdown, there was my happy little boy who seemed more at peace, that little phrase which most people wouldn’t have considered anything was a big change for us. That evening when I put him to bed he hugged me and told me he didn’t want to go anywhere else. Another massive step – most days this week he’s told us he wants to go back to the foster carers.

I love that every day we are seeing him grow into a boy who wants to be part of a family and wants stability, he’s very different from the scared little boy who we brought home 6 months ago.

Why don’t dinosaurs have belly buttons?

  

As most adoptive parents will know the simplest of questions can lead to difficult conversations!

Over the Easter holiday we visited a local dinosaur attraction, which lead to the discovery that dinosaurs come from eggs – this was a big deal for a 3 year old!

After careful examination of his new dinosaur we “had” to buy from the gift shop Tom was confused there was no belly button, this lead to the “dinosaurs come from eggs” discussion, which then lead on to discussion about his belly button.

In all the prep we did before the boys came it had never occurred to us we would need to think about something as simple as a belly button!

We gave a very brief explanation of where babies come from and how he has a “tummy mummy” (birth mum) and a “forever mummy” (me). Now to a 3 year old this is confusing, we’ve had similar conversations before but this really struck a cord with him about where he came from and where he was going (he has no concept of permanence). You can’t really dress it up nicely that you have two mummys and you can’t see one of them.

All we can do is reassure him every day that we are his “forever family” and we love him even though he came from a different “egg”. Obviously this is where the Life Story books are great but we still don’t have ours (that’s a different post).

As a side for those of you, like us, who have to screen every film and book you read with your children you may wish to take a look at Dinosaur Train (it’s on Netflix), it’s about a T-Rex whose egg gets left in a Pteranodon nest and the Pteranodons adopt him. When he discovers he’s a T-Rex he chooses to stay with his adoptive family (sorry for the spoiler!). There are very few children’s programmes which take such a positive view of adoption and the importance of a stable family support network.