As most adoptive parents will know the simplest of questions can lead to difficult conversations!
Over the Easter holiday we visited a local dinosaur attraction, which lead to the discovery that dinosaurs come from eggs – this was a big deal for a 3 year old!
After careful examination of his new dinosaur we “had” to buy from the gift shop Tom was confused there was no belly button, this lead to the “dinosaurs come from eggs” discussion, which then lead on to discussion about his belly button.
In all the prep we did before the boys came it had never occurred to us we would need to think about something as simple as a belly button!
We gave a very brief explanation of where babies come from and how he has a “tummy mummy” (birth mum) and a “forever mummy” (me). Now to a 3 year old this is confusing, we’ve had similar conversations before but this really struck a cord with him about where he came from and where he was going (he has no concept of permanence). You can’t really dress it up nicely that you have two mummys and you can’t see one of them.
All we can do is reassure him every day that we are his “forever family” and we love him even though he came from a different “egg”. Obviously this is where the Life Story books are great but we still don’t have ours (that’s a different post).
As a side for those of you, like us, who have to screen every film and book you read with your children you may wish to take a look at Dinosaur Train (it’s on Netflix), it’s about a T-Rex whose egg gets left in a Pteranodon nest and the Pteranodons adopt him. When he discovers he’s a T-Rex he chooses to stay with his adoptive family (sorry for the spoiler!). There are very few children’s programmes which take such a positive view of adoption and the importance of a stable family support network.